Here comes a "fluffy" post, one that come from something I found that connects me back to a special time in my life around 5 years ago when I was discovering a relationship to myself as a women that was entirely new and that I am being reminded that I have not fully embraced, I have shunned this part of myself....again.
A combination of co-incidences a post on a friends blog asking if women were ready to step into the light, that was the question that I took from it, then I found a letter to a teacher of mine, written around 1994. We had been asked to find a goddess or a symbolic person who might represent the qualities in ourselves we wished to bring forth. I chose the Norse Goddess Freya - Goddess of the North:
[She is Goddess of Love, of prophesy, and of magic while at the same time, a Warrior Goddess ruling over the Valkyries and claiming her portion of the battle-slain, These are the aspects of the Great Mother Goddess, the ruler of Life and Death. Without death, there is no life.
So, on one hand, she rules over sensual love, marriage , fertility and childbirth (she is above all a Goddess of Women), On the other hand she is the Goddess of War and of Death. As she weaves the sky she also weaves the fates, the future, although she can change nothing. A Goddess who keeps us in touch with our intuitive nature and helps us make transitions and new beginnings, keeping our lives in touch with our spiritual selves. A strong symbol of a womens empowerment over her own body and mind as well as of the creative energy in us all.]
My response to identifying Freya as significant to me was this:
There is much fire within me right now and slowly I am learning to support it with logic and earthly stability. I can feel it begin to find direction and a channel for realisation beyond my inner world. I am beginning to recognise and appreciate my sensitivities as well as embracing my power. From this I have clearer understanding of my needs for a lifestyle that reflects my true nature and that of the world around me. Relating to my potential, a little afraid of what this might look like, un-known and un- chartered waters.
This blog started off as a place to get onto paper many of the themes and conversations I have had with myself over the years and many of them continue to have resonance. This particular storyline continues and i feel I am still distracted from embracing this fundamental part of myself. Like the article that partly prompted this writing, I seem to NOT be ready to step into the light as a whole self, which is the only real way that I would truely be visible to myself as well as to others, I have had many roles and realise I have been in the light many times, but not in the way I describe, as my true self. I still aspire and dig deep for the skills, courage and guidance to do this.
